Tim Johnson Wants In

I know what you're thinking.

"Tim Johnson? That guy who lied about his military service, lost the dressing room, never got us to the playoffs, has jumped around foreign and independent leagues ever since, and was never that good of a player? That Tim Johnson?"

Yes. That Tim Johnson. That's me. And I want to come back to Toronto. I think I'm the right choice to manage the Blue Jays in 2011 and beyond. Here's why.

In 1998, the first season after I took over from Cito Gaston, the Jays won 88 games. The last time they won that many or more? 1993, the last time they were in the playoffs. Nobody has got them closer since then than I did.

You'd think that would be enough, really. Sixteen seasons, six managers, and I was the most successful. If Cito could be given another shot, why not me?

Okay, fine, issues about "character" and "this is a different team than in 1998".

The 2011 Jays will have guys like Travis Snider and Brett Wallace, youngsters just breaking into the lineup and proving their worth as major league players. How's that any different from 1998, when I coached Shawn Green and Shannon Stewart to their breakout seasons?

Some positions may be filled by journeymen with no past and no future? Hello! My opening-day cornermen were Ed Sprague and Mike Stanley! Craig Grebeck made over 100 appearances at second base! Not to mention Darrin Fletcher and Tony Fernandez, who came to Toronto as journeymen, but under my leadership proved that their most productive years were yet to come!

Anthopolous might bring in aging veterans with limited upside? I was forced to keep Juan Samuel on my bench all season despite his only hitting .180!

There's a host of talented kids in AAA and I'll need to try them all to find out which ones succeed? Back in 1998, I had to try a bunch of kids with no chance at succeeding--Kevin Brown, Mark Dalesandro, Patrick Lennon, Kevin Witt!

I was the one who turned Paul Quantrill from an inconsistent and sub-par starter into one of the best middle relievers in the game, who did the same to Kelvim Escobar, and who managed Roger Clemens to his fifth Cy Young.

I was the one who saw the potential in Carlos Almanzar long before anybody else did, and who knew Dave Stieb might have the stuff for a comeback.

But the best reason I'm qualified to be the manager of the Toronto Blue Jays in 2011 any beyond?

Back when I was serving in 'Nam, my platoon was ambushed in the jungle by a squad of Viet Cong.

They showed no mercy--we were willing to let their unit pass through peacefully, but they were out for blood. Not just our American blood, but any locals who were in the jungle. Not even the monkeys were safe.

Suddenly, I noticed that a lot of the locals seemed to be throwing themselves in front of the Viet Cong guns. Knowing that even though they might be savages, they weren't suicidal savages, I knew something had to be up.

I rushed over to the scene, and I saw what was going on--they were trying to protect a pregnant woman. Over the objections of my commanding officer, I got the Viet Cong's attention, and distracted them long enough for the rest of my platoon to get into position.

After the threat was over with, I noticed that the woman was about to give birth. Recalling my emergency training, I helped deliver her baby.

Twenty-some odd years later, I'm managing the Toronto Blue Jays, and I can say without any hyperbole that it was the greatest thrill of my life to see that baby make his first two starts as a Major League Baseball pitcher. I always knew Roy Halladay was destined for great things.

But enough about that. I cleaned up Cito's mess once before, I can do it again.

--Tim

Tim Johnson is a former manager of the Toronto Blue Jays and major league ballplayer. As far as we know, he did not save Roy Halladay's mother from certain death in Vietnam, but some of the sentiment may be accurate.